Am I A Good Sister?

I feel like I'm a very sociable person. I love people. I love company. I love making friends, not enemies. I love to listen to what people have to say. But am I just focusing on my friends... and not my family?

I make plans with my friends a lot. I attend people's birthdays and hangouts. But when my brother calls me to hang out once in a blue moon... I find myself rejecting him quite easily. Maybe because I'm so used to not hanging out with him, and I take it for granted that I would see him all the time (besides when he leaves for College... but honestly, I never really missed him). I wouldn't say I have a close bond with him, but I feel like it's because I don't give an effort.

Is it my fault for not going to hang out with him? I'm not exactly sure. Because I did make prior plans with my friends before I agreed to go with him to Crate & Barrel (which he told me he had the whole day planned out). It was such a hard choice. I like taking trips, but the only trip he usually takes me on are guilt trips. Which I absolutely hate. I give in very easily, which might be a bad thing, cus people would consider me a pushover. But why is it wrong to give in when all I want is peace? Woops, I'm getting off topic here.

I have called my friends, which only one I've actually talked to and I ended up going to meet with my friends. I had to break the bad news to my brother with apologies through text, because I can't say it to him, afraid that he would hang up on me... which he has done countless times. Even after apologies... he still keeps me on the guilt trip. Instead of just saying "Whatever" or "It's okay... you better make this up next time!" Stuff I think I would say... he would include a sentence that makes me sympathize, yet hate him. "Whatever. Do whatever you want. I'm just disappointed in you." Really? If you really want me to do what I want, please don't tell me you're disappointed.

Maybe I'm over-analyzing it. Maybe I need to try harder to become a better sister that would sacrifice her play time with her friends to hang with her brother who works six days a week. One half-day out of the 6. "You're a bitch. I hope you know that." was one of the most memorable texts I have received from my brother. Does he deserve this hangout? Is it a matter of deserve or not? I think I should choose him over my friends one day... but when will that be? This kid likes to keep his anger in for a while. I'm not sure how he does it. But when I saw him today, we spoke a few sentences, but he would walk by me with glares. I wonder what makes him hate me so much though. To even defriend me from facebook three times. Talk about being a good brother, huh.

I'm still going to try my best in the future of being a good sister.